Memorial for Susan Dayton

A few weeks ago we held a memorial service in Buffalo for my mother. I was asked to give the Eulogy. Damian had given the Eulogy in Salt Lake, so I just asked if I could use the one he wrote. He said no, and so I wrote this. It paints a picture of the mother I loved:

Memorial for Susan Dayton

In the Old Testament in the book of Genesis there is a well known story of a prophet named Jacob and his son Joseph. At a very young age Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers- losing everying. He first served as a slave to Potiphar, and as the scriptures say:

“his master saw that the LORD was with him, and the LORD made all that he did to prosper in his hand.”

Soon he became ruler of Potifar’s house. Then he was unjustly sent to prison, and the keeper of the prison recognized the ability of Joseph to make everythin

g prosper. Before too long he was put in charge of all the prisoners. After that he was discovered by the Pharaoh of Egypt . The Pharaoh was so impressed by Joseph, that he would quickly rise to be second in command of all of Egypt. There was just something about Joseph, he found favor in the eyes of the lord, and everything he touched turned to gold.

“The LORD was with him, and the LORD made all that he did to prosper in his hand.”

Mom had a similar gift, it didn’t matter what situation she was in

. In Utah she volunteered to help with a few PTA projects, she served faithfully and one thing led to another until she became the President of the Utah State PTA where she helped lobby for major education reforms, had a new PTA office built and made a big difference for the organization. She was at the top of her game out there. Then my father got an opportunity in Buffalo, and just like Joseph, she had to start over. It’s hard to explain how difficult it was for her to leave Utah, but she knew the Lord would bless her wherever she went.

Once she arrived here she didn’t waste much time. Mom did volunteer work for an organization with a Charter at the UN called the World Wide Organization of Women. In just a few years

she became President of that organization, unifying women all over the world to help protect families, making valuable connections at the United Nations in NY and in Geneva, Switzerland, and leading the organization as they built a bridge in Africa.

The Lord was with her, and the LORD made all the she did prosper to his hand.

Mom’s church service here in Buffalo was no different. She arrived with a willingness to do whatever was asked of her, whether it was teaching Sunday School giving rides to church to those living in some of the sketchiest neighborhoods of Buffalo. It was just about a year after arriving that Mom was called to be the Stake Relief Society President over the Buffalo Stake. For those of you unfamiliar with the Mormon faith, the Relief Society is the oldest women’s organization in the world and is a service organization made up of all the women members of the Mormon Church in Buffalo and the surrounding areas. She organized massive service projects to provide school kits to those devastated by the Tsunami year and then sewing blankets another year. It wasn’t just that Mom was good, it was that she made the people around her better.

She also agreed to help out and attend monthly meetings for the Network of Religious Communities. Just before she learned of her diagnosis of terminal cancer she was asked to be the president of the Network of Religious Communities. She had to turn it down, because she just had too much on her plate.

To understand my Mother I think its important to understand that in a way she was a product of her upbringing, but in other ways she was truly a diamond in the rough- exceeding all expectations.

Mom’s Grandmother, Beverly Thompson never got beyond high school as a child because her father became very ill, and Grandma had to quit school to take help take care of their chickens, the family’s only source of income at the time.

Grandma and Grandpa got married soon after he returned from military service and Grandpa started to finish up his schooling on the GI Bill. Unfortunately he only got two years in before he and my Grandma were in a terrible car accident.

Now I debated whether or not to tell this next story, but I went my entire life without ever hearing it, and it was only after my Mom died and I interviewed her parents that I learned it. So now you all get to hear it-

On a wintery evening in a canyon road of Utah, on a dangerous turn one of the oncoming cars tried to pass a snowplow coming up the canyon. The car plowed right into my Grandma and Grandpa’s car. The car spun out, my Grandma was thrown from the vehicle and was seriously injured.

In the nearby town there had a been a funeral that day, so the chains had been taken from the ambulance and put on the Hearse for a funeral. So my Grandma and Grandpa were picked up after this terrible accident and taken to the hospital in a hearse. They took my Grandma to the hospital, and didn’t even change her clothes because they didn’t think she was going to make it. In the middle of the night she woke up to their surprise of everybody and asked to receive a priesthood blessing.

She began to recover until two days later when she get very sick. She wasn’t dying, turned out that she was pregnant. If she hadn’t survived that accident my Mother would have never been born. With all the bills from the hospital and the looming pregnancy my Grandfather had to quit college to raise his family.

It was in front of this backdrop that my Mother Susan was born into the world in 1951. Times were tough back then. Gramps had a decent job at Kennecott Copper, but it wasn’t enough money to support the family, so he would work a graveyard shift at night, and ran a cabinet building shop during the day.

Susan had to grow up early. When she was in Jr. High, my Grandmother returned to BYU to start and finish her college education. Susan was forced to learn to cook and prepare meals and out of necessity learned to sew. Grandma would take in sewing work for extra money and when things got too busy, Mom would take it over and complete it to help the family out. She would go on to become a phenomenol seamstress sewing her own wedding dress, which she was buried in last week in Draper, Utah, 1 mile from where she grew up.

Amidst all the challenges Mom faced, she not only survived – but thrived.

There are certain moments in our lives that change our course or make a big difference in who we are, and what we become. For my Mom, one of these moments came during High School when she was working graveyard shifts in a cookie factory. She was surrounded by older women all around her packing cookies because they needed the. It was right then and there that she decided she would go to college and ensure she didn’t end up packing cookies in the middle of the night for the rest of her life.

All through High School Mom just did what she has always done. It should come as no surprise that she was Homecoming Queen, elected Miss Salt Lake County and a cheerleader all through high school. In fact, the cheer coach was so impressed with Susan that she took her straight down to BYU and introduced her to Janey Thompson who would go on to start the Young Ambassadors. Janey immediately recognized Susan’s talent and without even an application- she Mom into BYU and put her to work as a choreographer for what would become known as the Young Ambassadors. Susan traveled the world as a Young Ambassador. All over Europe one year and then all over the United States another. The trip all over the United States was another pivotal moment in my Mother’s life because it was there that she met my father.

I’ve heard my Mom tell this story a million times, but there were two things about my father that won her over in an instance. First, wherever he was sitting on the bus, or staying the hotel- there was fun going on. My Mom wanted to be around someone like that.

Second, as this Young Ambassadors group traveled around the world singing and dancing, they would also regularly have church meetings. One type of meeting we have in the LDS Church is called Testimony Meeting where people are able to stand and share their feelings about the gospel. It was in one of these meetings that my Father stood and shared his love for Jesus Christ, the Atonement and his love for our Heavenly Father.

After that my Mom was in love. It would take months for her to convince my Dad, but eventually she wore him down and won him over- and they have lived an exceptionally happy life together ever since. Their happiness together, more than anything else has shown me the power of the gospel in action.

I tell you her history so that you understand that my Mom wasn’t accustomed to having nice things growing up. She had to work for everything she, and when my Father had finished over a decade of school and his medical practice was finally producing and all five of us kids were in school, she could have easily decided it was time to take a break- time to do what SHE wanted to do. But instead she rolled up her sleeves and went to work serving others doing all the many things you have read about in her obituary.

As we sat around my Mother’s bedside talking to her one final time, my youngest brother Ethan thanked my Mom for her example. In what would be some of the last words she ever spoke on this earth my Mother said: “A life of love, a life of service.”

I can’t imagine a more fitting description of her life. We love you Mom and we will miss your love and service. We know, because you taught us well, that we will see you again.